Mostly playing overwatch because it distracts me from talking to people. Studying, Working and Writing.

Yes, I do. Though, sadly it's not the type that most people feel giddy about. I FEEL HEARTACHE most of the times. This ain't funny anymore, it's that serious. But I'm in the phase of moving on instead because I don't actually stand a chance. Yay. :p

Hm, I think my better advice first is to lessen screentime, it's better to get yourself out from the internet, the reason? is already tacit. Then building a healthy routine that consists of the things you love doing to distract and keep your mind at bay. Change your music taste because it brings influence to your daily mood genuinely. Talk to yourself, it may sound crazy but believe me, it helps you to regulate yourself. Building a healthy social life, talk to people, find friends that suit to your preferences yet still be careful—not everyone is kind. Why do you need it? They're not there to support you whenever you needed—but to be someone that would help and lead you along the way, the person that will also help you regulate your emotions, you can't consistently feel down you know? You have to be all <you>, comfortable, happy, giddy and just you—it will all be worth it in the end. Feeling down? Troubled? Walk it out, go outside and walk until you feel at ease. Walking helps you sort your hazy mind. Drink water. Understand, accept, and respect yourself—don't let people break your peace, but also don't isolate yourself that would never help you and will make things worse than it is. Whatever you've done in the past—forget and forgive it don't linger to it anymore, focus to yourself and your development, don't give people time to destroy you and don't even bother thinking about them—only if it's appropriate for you to do so. Talk when you feel heavy—don't let it just stay in within yourself. You'd pop like a balloon if you do. If you need someone, you can hit my dms and I'd be willing to listen to you. Sending hearts and love. <3.

‎Mm... Mostly you don't actually know it at first. Then when you do, you'd say 'Ah this is because they're my friend this is normal to be fond of them.' yeah? sure. So you started getting all indenial and stuff or worse confusing yourself is the first. Second, 1) when you realize you've been doing things that you're not supposed to/ you're not usually doing/only doing it for that person/ doing things beyond your expectations to yourself is a brief evidence i think (such as giving trust too easily even if you've gone trauma—staying up all night even if it's past your bedtime—wanting to spend all of your time to them despite having many—saying things to them that you believe before you'd never)—then if it's not—then what are those for you then? 2) when you make exception for <that person> to anything you dislike / you become hypocritical towards yourself / disrespecting your own boundaries as you don't care about your feelings, theirs comes first. 3) you picture your future with them living together, in an intimate domestic <home> you've ever think. I believe most people would put specific label—as in "Oh probably not! We're friends that's not." Or you'd feel awkward about it—even if your nature is too clingy, there's still part of you to set boundaries. "Yeah I'm clingy to my friends but I'd never think of --" if you think this way "I don't mind being all those domestic and intimate.." i think you should proper check your feelings right now. 4) you feel giddy/giggly/happy/blushing when replying to their bare minimum for instance, that they'd not leave you (that's literally a common one to a friendship—what is there to blush about?) 5) you talk about that person everywhere you go to the fact that everyone knows about that person, whether irl or not. 6) something aches inside of you whenever you thought of them and you—you become insecure somehow. 7) you are afraid of breaking them, you care a lot than you are supposed to—to the fact you break their comfort zone. Lastly, all the things I told you should had happened all at once that it overwhelmed and confused you. Though if this is still not clear to you, you can try hitting my dms. I would be willing to hear your part.

Don't believe him, he cries when he sees a flying cockroach, what a loser. Go away.

Ew.

Aren't you MY bestfriend? I'm hurt.

No. We're just best friends.

Aww, don't hesitate to interact, i never bite. Don't get fooled by whatever the vibe. Also, my favorite character is Lu Guang (heavy) and Cheng Xiaoshi.

Thank you for the kind compliment and the concern oomf (I do know who you are, you're cooked.) Mmm... I was never unserious when it comes to friendships/platonic relationships, the fact that I'm demi yes it is THAT serious. No I don't usually call it a "friendship" without a strong emotional bond, I do have a friendship preference since as uh I am prudent and I take circumspect of it. Since <those people> earned not only my trust but also my commitment to that friendship. I cherish it than most people do or than I was supposed to. I remember you used to tell me that I am kinda mourning over the past—well I don't deny that is kind of the truth. Pfft. Second, I always thought of trying to text and ask. Honestly, I always do, everyday. I just don't like the fact that I have come to think I am certain that they don't want it back. Even so, I'm still not sure if they forgive me? Because I'm kind of also certain they are mad at me. Anyways, I think I am having a great progress though, I'm glad that the friend that I 'left' was already fine with me—and we're also talking casually like normal—even shared some life abouts. That's too exciting and sparkling to me. I'm trying my best. I'm losing my mind kinda.

Yes.